The prospect of discussing a nuptial agreement with your partner may seem daunting but if approached in the right way it can form part of an open and honest conversation about your future together. From our experience, when the subject is brought up sensitively, your other half will most likely welcome the opportunity to discuss finances and to provide greater certainty for the future.
In some cases, you will need to give your partner some time to consider the idea, so do be patient. More often than not, initial reservations are alleviated once the common misconceptions are better understood. The key is to keep the discussion positive by outlining the benefits for both sides and provide reassurance that a nuptial agreement is a document to create jointly.
Here are our tips on how to bring up the topic of nuptial agreements with your partner:
Avoid beginning the conversation with, ‘I want a nuptial agreement’
The subject needs to be handled delicately as part of broader discussion about financial planning. If you begin sensitively, you are more likely to achieve the outcome you want.
Outline the positives
Think carefully about the benefits for you and your partner. For example, the freedom for you to agree on financial outcomes and provide certainty for your future.
Agree the main headlines together
If you and your partner can agree the central elements of the agreement before your lawyers draw up the document, this will help to minimise potential areas of disagreement and can pave the way for a constructive negotiation.
Reassure your partner
Let them know that your intention is to protect their financial independence as well as your own. The objective is to keep the two of you, as a couple, in control of your finances.
This is the time to be completely honest with your partner about your finances and what is important to you and why. Use this as an opportunity to talk about expectations and intentions.
This is the best way to avoid misunderstandings. Ask your partner their opinion and explore their hopes. The more you work on this together, the more positive the discussions can be. It is more than likely than not that neither of you will have much practical experience with nuptial agreements, so you can learn together.
Have faith and be prepared to persevere
It is important that you can, as a couple, have difficult conversations when necessary and honestly express your feelings. Such conversations are part and parcel of long-term relationships. If you do not get the answer you want, allow your partner time to cool off and re-evaluate your points. You will get there.